I will never forget an incident that took place in my life in my great alma mater. 

It was while I was in SS 3; second term to be precise. I discovered to my greatest shock then that among the friends I was hanging out with at that time; I was the only one that was yet to get laid or to get anybody laid( I want to believe some people may likely know the meaning of  getting laid).

Then, I had this façade of being a hard guy in my SS 3 days. Those who attended FGC Idoani those days or any secondary school boarding house will have an idea of what it means to be a hard guy. 

Hard guys were known those days for smoking cigarettes and occasionally weed, drinking alcohol and having a retinue of girl friends.

The first two applied to me but the last one was no where to be found in my life. I was a virgin boy dying on the inside. I would listen with envy when my friends told the story of how they took this girl or that girl to bed and I would wish I was in their shoes then.

We were all kids then; deluded and disillusioned believing that virginity was a stigma. How Satan really deceived us back then! 
To be candid, at that time; many of us (both boys and girls) despised being seen as virgins and were eager to lose our virginity instead of treasuring it, all because laying somebody or getting laid by somebody made us to have a false sense of belonging.  

I then made up my mind that before I graduate from secondary school; I would join the club of those who had been laid or who had gotten somebody laid. In my mind, i was tired of being a strong member of the Virgin Boys Scout and wanted to get out of the club by all means.

Shortly before night prep on a particular day; I spoke with a friend of mine whose dad happened to know one or two things about the traditional religion. In fact I can say my friend's dad was a practitioner of the African traditional religion.

I met this friend of mine and poured out my frustration before him. He took pity on me and said to me “Rapture(Rapture was my sobriquet then); I have a solution to your problem; but would you be bold enough to do anything just to get laid?”

“Yes my Guy; I would do anything to get laid” I answered desperately.

He then brought out a ring from his pocket and brandished it before me. Instantly I could recognize the kind of ring it was. There was a funny name we called such a ring then.

“Rapture; with this ring; I assure you that you can get any girl you want; no matter who she may be” he said.

My joy knew no bounds that night when he made that statement about the ring. 

At last; a solution had come to the problem I was facing or so I thought. If soapy dance was the dance in vogue at that time; i would have danced it like a mad man.

“How much is it going to cost me to lay my hand on this ring?” I asked

“Rapture man,” he said “Forget it; I won’t collect a kobo from you; you be my guy na; and I pity your condition na; so I will allow you to use the ring this night during night prep and after then; I will take the ring back o. is that okay with you?” 

“Yes; it is okay with me; I just have to leave the virgin boys club at all cost” I answered him, “But my friend; what assurances do I have that this charm will work on any girl I choose? What if it fails? Won’t I make a fool of myself?”

“Rapture; forget that side; do you remember when senior ---------- (He mentioned the name of a senior in the outgone 95 set) bunked --------- (He mentioned the name of a lady in my class)?”

“Yes” I said.

“I was the one who gave him the ring with which he got that babe; weren’t you all surprised how a guy as ugly as that guy could have had his way with that pretty girl then?”

“Yes we were all surprised; we all suspected he must have jazzed her then” I said.

“Well your suspicions were correct; do you also remember senior ------------- who slept with-----------in your set and she wept after the encounter?” He asked.

“Yes I remember; it was a popular story at that time; it happened while we were in SS 2; there was hardly any guy in our set who didn’t know about the incident” I answered.

“Good; it was also as a result of a jazzed ring; they also came to me for the ring” He said.

“Wow! My guy; say no more; I am convinced” I said “Just show me the way”

“All right; meet me during night prep; And I will show you how the ring works” he said.

“Thank you my guy” I said as I parted from him.

You can imagine my excitement as I dressed up for prep that night. In short; I was dressed to kill. I sprayed perfume everywhere. I was already thinking of the prey I would catch that night. 

Friends, you can't blame me for trying to go the native way; I was just too lazy to be involved in the process of wooing a girl and expending energy on persuading her. I just wanted the easy way out. And I was trying to avoid being given isho as well.

With speed; I dashed to the class where this friend of mine was reading. On seeing him; he took me to a corner where it was just the two of us and he pulled out the ring and slid it into a finger on my left hand.

Immediately he did that; I felt something like an electric surge going through me. With what I now know as a servant of God; it must have been a demonic influence then.

He then said to me “Tunde, think of the girl you want to sleep with at this moment and recite the following incantations after me”

I immediately imagined a pretty girl in my set then and I recited the incantations he taught me using her name. Immediately after reciting the incantation, He then said to me “Rapture; all you need to do now is to shake her hand with your left hand; if she can shake that hand where the ring is; she will be enchanted and your wish will be her command. Now go and look for her” 

With a mixture of excitement and fear; I made a run for the class where this girl whose name I had mentioned in the incantation was reading. My heart was beating fast with both anticipation and apprehension. I got there panting like a dog only to be told that she had just left for the hostel.

 “Yeepa! Which kind bad market be this na?” I shouted in my mind and I quickly ran to my friend to break the sad news to him.

He thought deep for a while and said “Rapture; this is bad; but all hope is not lost; you still have two more tries. So think of another girl right now and recite the incantation again”.

So I went through the same process with another pretty girl in our set in my mind now; after I finished the incantation; I Ben-Johnsoned to the junior class where I was sure this next potential victim was reading; I got there only to meet the shock of my life. I was told she had just left the classroom and left for the hostel.

“Haa! Not again! Which kind yawa be dis na?” I said in my mind. 

Before going to give my friend the report of my failure; I painstakingly scouted for the third potential victim who also happened to be a pretty lady in my set since I had only one more try; so I saw her reading and I seriously prayed in my heart that she should remain in that reading position till I come to strike.

I did not even bother to rush to my friend again so as for time not to be wasted; out of desperation; I went to a corner and I was able to recite the incantation by myself. 

After I finished reciting the incantation; I then went for the kill; I got to the class where I had seen her initially and guess what? I got the shocking news: She had just left for the hostel. 

“Chei,” I hollered “My own don finish na; this is bad luck! This is bad market! which kind bad luck be dis?” and all these happened when prep was yet to be over. 

What took these three potential victims away before I could strike? I wondered.

I nearly burst into tears; I went back to my friend with so much heaviness in my heart and I delivered the ring back to him. 

He took pity on me and said “Rapture; I guess tonight is not your night then”

Well; that was how I left FGC Idoani as a staunch member of the Virgin Boys club. All things work together for good anyway!

Amazing Grace! How sweet the sound! That saved a wretch like me! We don't look like what we've been through!
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Rev. Akinola Tunde
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